It's completely normal to be scared, anxious, and just downright nervous about becoming a new mom. I've had so many ups and downs throughout the past nine months, that at 38 weeks, I am finally settling into just being excited. Many moms think they are being helpful when they tell you how wonderful their pregnancy was, how grueling their labor was, or even sharing extremely intimate details concerning bodily functions most ladies like to pretend don't exist.
I am one of those crazy pregnant ladies who has disliked every minute of the past 38 weeks. I thought I was a terrible person for it too - it made me feel like I would be a bad mom. Don't get me wrong, I love every single time little man moves in my belly or when I feel him hiccoughing for what seems like hours. I'm stoked to see the little guy and would not trade the world for the joy of becoming a mama, but I admit, pregnancy is just not my thing.
Everyone has a different experience.
Let me clue you in on a little secret - you are not a "bad" woman for having a rough time during pregnancy!! It's natural to be scared, to be aggravated, frustrated. During my first trimester, I was a wreck. I felt as though the world was caving in on me, like I could never amount to being the type of mother I should be. I cried constantly and had to talk myself out of feeling as though I couldn't do anything right. I had a dear friend who went through the same emotions with both of her children and told me what I really needed to hear; life's not going to stop. You will keep learning, you'll make mistakes. You're job is to be the best you can be and to remember - it's ok to ask for help!
I have always been maternal in my demeanor - during high school I was the one who carried a case of water, first aid kit, and blankets in the back of my Jeep for sudden road trips or emergencies. I would buy dozens of donuts and gatorades for summer wake boarding or surfing adventures with friends. Deep down, I know being a mama is what I've always wanted. My worries were less about what was changing in my daily life and more about the millions of ways I had the potential to screw up in my new role as a mother. I've read blogs, books, magazines, and listed to the advice of many. I respect so many of the women in my life and, while I may not always agree with the advice given, I appreciate the fact that they are there to lend a helping hand. I want to be that outlet for new moms too.
Knowing that someone else has been just as terrified as you are means so much more than listening to another woman go on and on about how much she loved pregnancy. Knowing that someone else was sick for months, that bed rest is a real possibility, that you can have serious emotional breaks that result in you taking an hour long bubble bath to ease your worries is, well, helpful. I love each and every person that reads this and I hope that through these scribbles and entries you find your own strength and power to be the mom you are meant to be.
You are strong.
You are beautiful.
You are going to be fine.
Whether your pregnancy was meticulously planned, medically coaxed, or happened by surprise, one thing is certain your life will never be the same.
- Catherine Jones
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